I have not mentioned any illness or insecurity one time since Bd. Hopefully she has noriced that
Hopefully, but if she chooses not comment how you've gone silent on the subject of your health, you do not fold.......understand? Don't pout about it,if she doesn't ask anything. She may be afraid to bring up the subject. Remain upbeat and don't talk about your health. You continue with the 180 b/c it is a good one. There may be some changes she won't acknowledge, but that is okay. In time, she will stop dreading it to begin again.
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I can see how I have backslid a little bit in my house duties I didn’t realize I had.
You have trouble balancing all the things we are throwing at you. I simply mentioned to do your part of the chores at home, and in taking care of your son's needs. Stay balanced in your thinking , Oz, and don't run for the opposite end of the spectrum. This causes posters to get where they won't say anything b/c you become so compulsive obsessive over doing ALL the work, so there will be nothing left for her. Just Clean the kitchen, put on a load of clothes to wash, and bath son and get him to bed. Is that enough while she's out seeing a friend. Have son asleep and you be in bed reading a book of watching YouTube or TV. If she's late, then be asleep with when she comes home. IMHO, that is doing your share without going into acting as if you are her full time employer.
You can handle this much! knowing you finished your jobs at home, will make you feel good about yourself. In the mornings, she may thank you for cleaning the kitchen, washing a load of clothes, and talking care of son. On the other hand, she may not say anything, and that's if that case......so be it. You won't fall about b/c it doesn't she either forgot to say something, or she sees you finally stepping up to help her. So whether you are thanked, praised, or ignored for the work you did while she was out with a friend.......it is not a life or death thing. You still plan to have a great day, b/c it is based on your decision.......rather being based on receiving a compliment, words of appreciation, or silence for doing your part of the chores. You don't spend the evening wresting with thoughts of what she'll think about it, will she notice, etc. It's left your mind and you are already interested in something new.
See what I mean, OZ?
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Sandi you have said you think my W is emotionally vulnerable.
When a husband neglects his wife, her emotional needs are not met. She could go out with dozens of girlfriends, and it would not feel that special place that can only come from guy he married. If he is such a dufuss and doesn't give her the emotional things so precious $$ can't be placed on its value. While she is in he vulnerable frame of mind, she could reach out to someone else. I really hope & pray that doesn't happen.
Remember, you take one day at a time. Don't borrow stress today for tomorrow.
Forget about using the LRT unless she mentions separation and/or divorce. You are not ready to deal with it yet. Forget all about the Going Dark Method, b/c when you are raising a young boy with autism, I think it would be next to impossible. Just don't focus right this minute on those areas, can you please just not go there?
Those are methods you might have to use farther down the road, IDK.
As for the examples of stories MWD uses in her book, those stories were not see on the board, so we don't have much to go on. In fact, when reading accounts in the forum "Another Divorce Busted", it is really more of a thank you letter to MWD. We don't get the details. I think it was Puppy Dog Tails who wrote her and tried to pin her down about one of the letters that was causing more discord than doing good, and wanted to know how we could read about their stories. Obviously, they were never on the board.
I've go to go to sleep. My brain is shutting down. Will try to post more tomorrow.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
