I haven't been able to post much recently because I haven't been feeling well. I thought I had mostly recovered from chronic gastritis but now I developed something called "silent reflux" and it began to affect my ability to breath. I've been on various medications that have side effects, including exhaustion, and most of my energy has been spent just trying to keep up with my job and daughter. Nothing really seems to help. I've tried a complete elimination diet, low acid diet, various combinations of diets. I've seen doctors of various specialties, nutritionists, therapist, etc.. and I just keep getting test-after-test without any real results. Everyone seems to think the trauma from my husband leaving has caused this but I really have no idea. Apparently it's a common condition but I guess I have a severe case.
So, that's why I haven't posted much recently. Regarding my marriage situation there hasn't been any change. There's been no talk of divorce whatsoever. It's been over six months since I've had a real conversation with my husband. As far as I know he's happily living in our house with his girlfriend. He got a part-time job here in our area so he's been stopping by for 20 - 30 minutes to visit our daughter every day or two while he's here (not inside our apartment but he takes her to the club room or for a walk). Then the minute his rotation here is over he flies back to our house which is 1,000 miles away. He told her he's planning to rent an apartment in the building across this street. I wanted to call him and protest but ultimately I didn't see any point. I can't stop him from moving across-the-street, but I don't want to run into him and his girlfriend every time I go out. It seems like a nightmare to be "neighbors" with them.
I don't really know what will happen in my case. I'm not motivated to file for divorce because I never wanted a divorce and now that we're covered under his new health insurance I need the insurance for my health condition. My small company only provides a stipend to buy our own insurance and the one we have currently is among the best plans.
I started seeing a new therapist a while back who has a lot of experience. She believes I have PTSD.
That's a brief update. I haven't even remotely considered trying to date anyone. I made a final decision that I wouldn't think about whether or not to be open to the idea until this whole crisis gets resolved but it's lonely being alone every night and being the only single parent wherever we go. The European guy that I met in April said he's going to visit me in a few weeks. I'm excited to see him but I'm trying to figure out how to host him here with my daughter since everything has to be appropriate for her.
I read about Jim's situation and unless my husband is a complete scammer I anticipate going through the same thing someday. So much destruction has been done though. My husband is a really bad person for kicking my daughter and I out of our own house and moving his girlfriend in. He's a terrible father. It's hard to imagine any positive outcome. I do wish, just a little, to fall in love with the European guy and start over completely but not now, and not yet. I just don't know what will happen.
