I’m glad you understand the process and see that financially things should be ok. Information is power, and alleviates much doubt and worry. It is good that you can keep the house - the home. Yes kids will like it and feel better in their home, and also knowing you are in your home. It looks like that is one worry you can put aside a bit.
I do know of the worry of what if this goes off the rails. Things like he changes where he puts his cheque or doesn’t pay the bills, and so on. I do agree with your L’s assessment.
Originally Posted by Grace21
...she would recommend filing for D if he changes where his paycheck goes and I'm at the mercy of him covering the deficit in my bills. I'd hate to have to make a choice on filing for D purely out of financial need without being really "done".
Maybe you can look at this like, if he changes what he is doing, he made the decision. As long as he keeps doing what he is doing you will sit tight. You need not make the decision on filling purely out of financial need, he will or won’t. And I wouldn’t tell him about the consequences - it probably would provoke him into doing it.
That all being said, I do believe that making a decision based on financial risk is a good decision. Not one taken lightly, one taken with eyes open and your future in mind.
I’ll also add that I found being “done” is a pretty nebulous thing. The borders are not well defined, even divorce may not be the end. To be plain about it, divorce is just a piece of paper. My XW is now just a woman I could possible date in the future. Exactly what she was after bomb drop / affair; I just didn’t see it back then. There really isn’t any change in her status. Lot of change in me, but that would take many many posts to cover. Hey, what a minute! I did post all those changes.
As you so eloquently say - Life is good.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
