Thanks Deja3vu6. I am slowly but I am saving myself. Your particular situation is very insightful and helpful in the understanding women better. Again I am sorry that you are in your situation as well. It takes a lot of clarity fortitude and patience to go the distance in the middle of these things especially once the mediators and lawyers get involved. I'm starting to think that my wife was always this person but I just overlooked it and the red flags of it for years. She changed a bit and I change the bit as life got more complex and interacting with one another. She is not the conflicted type it is the type of suppressor emotions a bit but not totally and I'm the one that just lets all my emotions out and speaks my mind all the time. I honestly can't understand why she feels like she would be walking on eggshells. Bummer tempting not to do that anymore and always try and keep a positive attitude around here regardless of the circumstances. Right now she is so repulsed by me she can't barely even stand to be in the same room with me listen with our son. This is all because of the house till situation she wants to get away from you so fast I almost want to just give her what she wants but not at the risk of being railroaded financially. I just want to move on with my life. There is no love for this person right now anymore for me. I just want to get back to being independent again. I deserve better and she deserves better even though we communicate very poorly and we're on opposite end of the spectrum of our mindsets. I hope she finds what she's looking for and everything she ever hoped for and that she makes it a reality instead of a lost dream whatever that may be or look like. I don't ever want to hold anyone back in life. But I am not getting in her way and she thinks I am. Her choices is what got her to this unhappiness and this state, and my choices as well. it's hard to believe that I took the wrong person but I think I did and I think we seriously did have some compatibility issue since day one but there was enough love there to overlook them for the last 10 years. When we were first dating we used to have a rule to never go to bed angry. I was so cool and composed back then. I wanted to work really hard at the relationship too. My complacency in the last couple of years is what got us here. I'm not a bad guy and I'm not a monster. But I don't put up with bull$hit and I got a little bit of a temper like most men. I'm kind of ultra sensitive about my feelings circumstances and Communications and being misunderstood. I'm getting better at regulating them though. I love God and Jesus and I have a lot of faith in them that's what I asked for a we've delivered if I have enough of it but I really think that's because people have free will and their experiences are so different that this marriage is not coming back from the brink I don't think it ever will. But I will do my best to be a better me and learn from my mistakes. I don't know how all of you guys hold out for so long to fight all the legal stuff the back-and-forth the affairs, etc. You guys have tremendous fortitude and patience. Once certain lines are crossed with me and the trust is eroded that badly There's No Going Back. It's just better to move on
