LH19 - I'm also not surprised. Couple things I will stress up front:
1. She is going back to work, just not with any alacrity. 2. I am not allowing fear of EA/PA into my decision process. If I discover it, I file. No suspicions or evidence through this whole process.
Everything *is* too easy for her. This is a setup for indefinite limbo. My W may be completely okay with this lifestyle indefinitely. But I am not. I'd prefer to move on and forge new relationships eventually.
I need to be aware of my triggers. Right now my primary trigger is that my W continues to suggest that I was the one driving us to D or S -- whereas I went months trying to communicate with her to work things out. I need to let this go. That's her story, I can't change it.
I'm trying to sort out my plan of action going forward. There is the "MC needs to include working on the MR" piece which I have talked about before.
I also am considering pressing for financial separation, but we will first talk to a financial advisor soon. I don't want money to influence my W's feelings towards me, but I also think she needs to face the financial reality of what is happening here. If she wants a long-term S then she needs to contribute to making it work.
My W used to always use the phrase "We'll figure it out" when a problem came up. It drove me nuts. That's just kicking the can down the road and ignoring the problem. She seems to be operating in "We'll figure it out" mode right now.
