Persistent Endurance (Part 5)

[curtis7]

If you're going to file, just file the D, send her the copy for her review with this message on a post it note. But call it "the" horse and not "our" horse.

Akkk, that was a typo, should have been "your" not "our".

Here's the thing Curtis, you spent so much time engrossed in her and put up with so much crap that now you are running the full opposite way. It's one extreme to the other, which is why I think you are getting some flack here. I can tell you really want her back. I know it, I feel it, sense it, whatever.

I think you should go NC with her, save for kids emergencies. Tell her to only contact you in case of emergency. And when she calls about something that's not an emergency, you tell her this is not an emergency and hang up. You need to do this for a little while IMO.

It may seem like I've gone from one extreme to the other. However, detachment has been improving for many months. There were occasional backslides and I certainly did not DB perfectly. I have slowly transformed since BD and it hasn't been an immediate 180. I have finally come to see reality for what it is and who she is right now. This plan has been in the works and I've extended my timeline because I thought there were some positive signs. However, I was fooled several times. I tried to be patient, but the disrespect is unending.

You get to a point where you can no longer tolerate being lied to, disrespected, cheated on, etc. It's saying to her: "I don't care what you do or who you do it with. You do what you want. I'm done. I want and deserve a better life for myself."

Everything I have discovered about her is so despicable and yet I do want her back. It makes no sense. I want a version of her back that no longer exists. I'm sick of the crap, the continued lies, deceit, and betrayal. I no longer feel like being a pawn in her game of multiple lives with OM. Each being fed a different story for her selfish desires. Getting the horse off property and NC with her will help me move forward. I don't want to see or speak with her. I understand your point on slowing down and trying NC. I plan to make my intentions known as respecting her choice and cutting off contact. Still mulling over the D filing in parallel decision. There are some factors in play that I need to discuss with a L.