Thanks sandi. Looking back I can see how I let the farm block me from being the dad I needed to be. I let W handle a lot of S needs because I worked so much. She actually told me once she felt like a single parent. Farming has that affect in families. It’s a lifestyle not a job
I think I’m this state we drifted apart. I can see I’m hindsight where she started to disconnect. I though things were getting better and she was giving up. The burden of a husband who has cancer and is constantly insecure about his health. I would actually ask her what she thought the doctor was gonna say about my mri before I had it. Like she could tell if it was growing or not. What an idiot. Meanwhile S is too much for school to handle and they are calling daily. And she is alone out in the country and I’m workin dawn till dusk 7 days a week. Only take a day off when it rains.
I agree she is in a vulnerable state. She has finally let it out. All the years of frustration. I think that’s why she reacted so harshly to my sudden 180s. Like where was this years ago?!?!? she has noticed though and I think that’s why she has warmed up to me a lot.
I have not mentioned any illness or insecurity one time since Bd. Hopefully she has noriced that. I can see how I have backslid a little bit in my house duties I didn’t realize I had. I’m getting that back on track tonight ASAP
She is going out with a female friend tonight she had before we moved to farm. First time she has gone out post BD 2 months ago. A good opportunity for me to crank some tunes and get a lot of housework done.
What do you think?
I told her she needs to find something to destress. Not for me. Not for S. Just for her. Some GAL she can enjoy
Also on compliments. If she doesn’t respond. Should I stop saying them?
