Yes, if this is MLC, by the time you get word via BD, the MLCer has ended the marriage in his/her head. We all know how crazy that is, as to us it seems very sudden, they don’t want to work it out and typically there’s no logical reason they give us.
If this is MLC it has been simmering for a long time. It was so gradual it was hard to really piece it all together until BD. But if we look at the 6 stages, this is when most of us have our ah-hah moment, and begin to understand that you were seeing these early stages of his crisis but it was so glacial it went unnoticed. Look over the 6 stages of MLC if you haven’t already.
Not all of them spew anger. I would not say mine monstered too much. He had moments where he was like a viper. Some of them are just quiet while others rage. It is like the teenage years; some are angry, some are quiet, some yell, etc. But he had every trigger for MLC (troubled childhood, poor coping skills, emotionally stunted) every symptom of MLC and he read the script beautifully! Could have won an academy award for it ...
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
