First: "The lawyer also mentioned that when she sees the numbers it may be a bit of a wake up call to her that fantasy land could be over." So let me ask you a question, are you okay with that? Do you want her to stay with you because it is cheaper to stay with you than to leave you? Lots of LBSs have fallen into this trap. That would be a temporary bandage on a gaping wound. If she doesn't stay for the right reason then you are setting yourself up for BD #2.
Second: "It may help her to speak up and initiate a convo." This is manipulation. Wear your ring for you. (I advocate wearing your ring until the D is final because YOU are still married until then.) But don't do it because she may notice and say something. Most WASs see right through that kind of thing.
Third: I know you think there is no EA and PA. However, very few people walkaway from a marriage for any other reason than another person. It is sad to say but I look at your sitch, I've seen this before. I also was told something when my WW was looking at moving out: Women don't need their own place to find themselves or work on the marriage. They need their own place to sleep with other people. Also along these lines, you say she got a job making 4x what she used to make. Can you tell us a little about your career? I assume she is college educated based on her earnings, are you? Is she the breadwinner in the house?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
