I agree with the others. We support you in whatever you choose to do. Only you know your whole situation.
From the moment of BD, as shocked as I was to come home from work to find him gone, leaving a note under my iPad, I actually wasn’t that shocked.
I had born witness to his deterioration in his demeanour for two years. I knew I was not the problem. Throughout the time several on here warned me not to get my hopes up on him returning.
But, in my heart I kept faith that, eventually, he would come out the other side and want to return. I was prepared to give him 2 years. And just over a year after BD (on finding out I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer) he told me he wanted to come back, as he realised he did still love me.
Edit to add, I hadn’t heard from him for almost a year.
It took another year for him to bring his relationship with OW to an end and finally return.
I believe the longer this takes, if he is to return, the better chance one has of it not happening a second time.
That’s why I said I thought it was too soon. They need to ‘fully bake’. It does sound like he wants to, but he has to get OW out of his system first, and this may take some time.
I do also want to add a little anecdote of Jack 3beans, who died a couple of years back but helped a lot of us here. And his words are so true in my sitch.
“Reconciliation doesn’t happen with a declaration of love, but a whisper of doubt”.
I thought it would be all hearts and flowers.......it still isn’t.
Reconciliation is not easy, for either couple. The innocence we had before is gone. We are different people and it’s now a different relationship.
I seem to be the one putting all the effort in, but then......I learned so much from here and being alone. He didn’t.
