Murphy, its you !

[gzabetas]

Short update.

Saw the wife yesterday as I went to pick up the kid in a cafe.
She was there with her date, boyfriend, not sure. I handled it like it meant nothing and even made small talk with him.
Picked up the kid and went for a walk.

We are now 2 months post divorce and I was just wondering how peculiar all this is.

Why didn't it bother me that I saw her with him? No image of us together popped in my mind.
This is detachment at work.
But its not really bliss or happiness. Its as if your body kicked in for your emotional well being and got your whole body numb to the situation.
The Radiohead lyrics came to mind "I'm not here, this isn't really happening".

For the first time in my life I felt like The Stranger in Albert Camus' book.
Detachment gone into numbness.

Of course the forum members here helped nail that concept into my head.
It was nice to hear that it was a good thing to accomplish and headed in the right direction when detaching.

In all honesty if I hadn't detached I dont think I would have handled all the other craziness she drops my way.
She still sees me as the source of all her unhappiness and mishaps in life.


And the second question that pops in my mind is:

Who was this person that I shared 10 years of my life with?
Who were they really?
Her thoughts were probably building a case against me from day one.
"I'll show him, the minute I get a leg up, down he will go"
I can see that clearly now.