The rational part of you knows it is time to move on.
The emotional part of you still has grieving to do, all 5 stages. Accept that you'll have to go through it. You are only 2 months since the BD -- it's going to take a long time to sort yourself out. That's just not enough time to process everything.
I don't want to make this sound like false hope, but people do R after D. Sometimes space is what is needed for some healing, on both sides. One of my friends went through D (his W had a PA, then filed on him), and over a year after finalization they suddenly tried to R. This after a nasty D process full of anger. Not once, but twice. R didn't take. Now he's happier than he's ever been with his long-term live-in GF. I'm just saying... have an open mind, recognize there are a million possibilities from here on out, doors are never slammed shut, but new doors will open too.
I have my kids 30% of the time now, I miss them unbelievably, it is heart-breaking to see them forced to adapt to this situation, but... overall, I can't deny that I am happier right now than I was living with my W the last several months.
