Hello All. After ten months on the Newcomers Forum and my divorce being finalized in the courts currently, I decided it was time to switch to Surviving the Big D and I am hoping my "people" from Newcomers will continue to follow along. This is a section of the community I originally did not want to be a part of but now that the worst is over and I am finding me again, I am actually happy and proud to be joining you. I did not save my MR... there wasn't much to save, truth be told, but...I did save me and I have the people in this community to thank. Without your support, I'm pretty sure I would not be in this position... finding happiness again being DV6 2.0.
Yail...to respond to your last post on my thread in Newcomers. Jack has slowly but surely been having a bit more interaction with my kids and it is going pretty well. He is pretty comfortable with S11 but is very cautious with D11 as she has a very "flirty" personality and he is not used to being around kids so it scares him a bit. He told me the last time he was over when they were home, she threw a blanket over his head when I was in the bathroom and it seemed to him she was trying to get him to roughhouse with her (she is definitely a bit of a tom boy). Apparently that scared him a bit so he opted out which is just fine with me...lol. I'd rather he be super cautious and respectful of my kids than overly comfortable and friendly as that would probably set off some alarm bells in my head [once a social worker, always a social worker]. Would not date anyone who is more interested in my kids than me, that's for sure.
I am also not surprised about him not wanting me to meet his friends. He told me before he thinks I am out of his league and I suspect he thinks my meeting his friends might remind me of that. Little does he know that most of my friends are a lot more like him and don't have multiple degrees or own million dollar homes. I've been very lucky in that regard and I see it as that. Frankly, I came from a small town and I am most comfortable with small town people. When I lived on the mainland in the ritzy part of the city, I felt like a fish out of water and did not feel like I had a lot in common with my neighbours or my kids' friends' parents. I grew up next to a farm, I play pool for fun, I've been to my share of "pit parties" and campfire sing-a-longs so my dating a welder/musician does not feel weird to me at all. But I am aware there are two sides to every story and I know that I am not the norm for him. Maybe I'll just have to drink beer instead of wine and swear around him more...lol.
Anyway...normally he would have gone back home this morning (an hour drive away) but I asked him to stay because I said work is always way less stressful when I can look forward to seeing him at the end of the day. He pressed me a bit on "why" that would make a difference and "why" I wanted to meet his friends and I got the impression he was asking me about my feelings for him. I just told him that I knew at the beginning that he was "dangerous" for me and he reminded me that I said we were a bad idea and have I changed my mind about that and if so, why? Hmmm.... not the discussion to have when I have five minutes to get to work so I told him that I had obviously changed my mind about that (well...almost) and "because I have"...lol. Discussion to be continued, I'm sure. I was surprised he brought up the "bad idea" comment which is what I said to him on our second date three months ago. Made me wonder if he is still thinking about that and if that is the reason it feels like he has kind of backed off a bit. I think both of us are scared we might be fooling ourselves that this could work longterm and are waiting to see where he ends up working as that could really change things...for better or worse. I think I'm hoping for better even though, not gonna lie, our age difference is still weighing on me a bit. Not now. It's fine now cause I look like I am 40. But the reality is that I'm not and in ten years when I'm 61 and he is 48...will it still work? Or in 20 years when I'm 71 and he is 58? It could look a whole lot different. But then again, who says either of us will even live that long...lol? Given what I have been through with my XH, it is funny how I still make decisions with the assumption that I can control any of that.
So much rambling...lol. I feel like I just did some stream of consciousness writing and I'm too lazy and bored with myself to edit it. So there it is... the jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions that are on my mind and in my heart. Oh well...over all, at least I am still having lots and lots of fun!!!
Love and (((HUGS))) to all of you out there in DB Land. xo
