I feel exactly the same way as you do. I'm confident in myself in finding a future partner, but would prefer building a new MR with my W. I think only you can decide how long to hold out, it is a very personal decision.
I can't remember where I heard this, but some comedian said all therapists should just have one piece of advice: "Snap out of it!" Here you are, sitting, waiting for your W to snap out of it. With no signs that she is going to.
Anyways, I fully support the move to a more formal separation to protect yourself. It will also give your W a more accurate picture of what D'd life will look like. It may feel like a step away from R, I would look at it as a step towards your future, whatever that holds. From what you posted she has not shown signs of change.
Don't judge yourself on time either. Some people never find this forum because they get fed up and move on quickly. Others will wait years and years. I've said in my sitch: I thought pre-BD Limbo lasted 3 months, but on further reflection I realize we had been slipping into limbo for about 2-3 years. It's probably true for most sitches here.
