Husband is having an affair...trying LRT 2

[ovrrnbw]

Hi CSL,

him saying he needs space and then chatting all day has to be strange. Don't overthink or try to understand. He knows it's weird too but talking about probably won't help anything. Just don't tolerate disrespect when he throws hissyfits about you responding the wrong way. If you are tired of the back and forth in regards to him saying he is wanting space and then acting differently, lay down the law in a clear and concise way. Don't overthink it or overtalk it. This will give him plenty to think about and make you feel better too.

I told him that I loved and respected him and that I was willing to do what it takes to work on our marriage.

Good, you got that out of your system. Now, don't say it ever again IMO. I believe this cements you as plan B when he should be freaking the hell out that you aren't going to be there for him any more or that you are out and about moving on with your life. Nothing makes a man feel the heat like the woman he wants moving on.

You're right about him making excuses as to why he is checking in on you. I think it's a decent sign that he is still interested in you enough to want to know what you're up to. So if you can pull back gently and in a detached (not cold, not angry) type of way I think this works to your advantage. I think you need to take longer to respond, sometimes don't respond, and sometimes respond right away..Maybe have plans the next time he invites you out. He needs to realize that other people value and desire you too and that his half "butt" commitment doesn't mean squat. I know you think your lack of texting was a big issue, but he has changed the dynamic. It's not a healthy R where he can ask for what he wants and you can do the same. This is why you are hurt when he says he needs space and then his actions go against that.

He's clearly confused and in a lot of pain. So be patient, use this time to refocus on yourself and not get too caught up in his chaos. Good luck!