Hello Nyla. I don't think I've ever commented on your thread before, but I've been following along with your story. I wanted to jump in and say that I think that some of us do get wrapped up in the rules of the LBS as if it is a recipe for reconciliation. I think it is important to understand that all that is said here are guidelines of what has worked for others in dealing with this crazy thing called MLC. The real thing to understand is that we are all human and work just a little bit different, have different experiences that shape us, and the dynamics of our relationships are all different. The reason that the guidelines help is because dealing with someone in MLC is counter intuitive and irrational and may not be how you might normally respond to a person exhibiting this behavior. The normal reaction typically pushes the MLC person away and leaves the LBS open and vulnerable to abuse. Its about protection for yourself.
From my experience, I like the way Gerda views it. Its something we all have to judge for ourselves in how we want to navigate this thing. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure and do it with your eyes wide open and guard your heart.
