Unchien - thanks for your reply. Yes, I do feel like I have sacrificed a lot but that's what you do for your family and your loved ones right? I worry that by showing some strength she will take that as a I sign that I'm done. Am I done? No. I'm leaving the door open a crack but doing what I can to move forward on my own with my son.
I think you are making the right move. If she cannot handle you standing up for yourself, your MR is doomed to failure anyhow. You would not be happy always sacrificing.
I used to watch the show Intervention a lot with my wife, and what you wrote above sounds a lot like the family members enabling addicts.
Originally Posted by jac12
I don't know why she's waiting to get psych help. My gut says she just doesn't want to deal with difficult things. Easier for her right now to just do what she wants and have fun. For a registered Psychiatrist the timelines are long, which is unfortunate. Her work also has an assistance program if needed and a couple months ago she said she would look into it. She said she was bi-polar possibly and definitely has dealt with some depression since high school (but she says "who hasn't").
I call BS. She could call her EAP and locate help within a week. How do I know this? Because I have called my EAP (for MC) and I live in an area where timelines are long, and what do you know they have a selection of 5 people I can choose from, available within a day.
Originally Posted by jac12
It's so hard to understand why she doesn't want to fight for our child. I mean to spend more time with him. How can I respect that? Why would I want to be with someone that won't fight for her family?
Yeah, that part struck me from your first post, I didn't say anything because I didn't know how you felt. I work FT and my W is a SAHM for now, and I fought for more time than your W is getting. This sounds like a pretty strong difference in values, something to think about as well.
Originally Posted by jac12
Tonight - came home and she was looking after our son (wednesdays). I asked her if she thought about our chat from Sunday and she said "no, not really". I asked her if she's contacted a lawyer: "no, not yet. Have you?". I told her I have a meeting tomorrow morning and that my lawyer will want to know who is representing her so we can get a separation agreement done. She said: "ok, I better get on that then". She then left. She also wasn't wearing her wedding band. I'm keeping mine on so she knows the door is open a crack and this is her decision. Should I take it off?
Sounds like she drags her feet on everything involving your sitch...
I just had a wedding band thing this week myself. Rings are symbols, and they can be signals too. My only advice is don't make your decision in response to your W. Do what you want to do. If you feel like you want to keep it on as a symbol of your commitment, keep it on. If you're not feeling it, take it off.
You didn't file for divorce... she knows the door is open.
