Divorce and Acceptance Part 4

[Pax_luv]

Hello. Checking in...
My posts are getting spread further and further apart. It’s good.

I find myself popping in because today would have been my 9 year wedding anniversary. I’ve officially gone through this day 5 times since ex and I split and this is the first year I’m not saddened by it at all. Progress!

Current state- Still not divorced. Still haven’t received the bifurcation papers from April 2018. Insane. We have a mandatory settlement conference scheduled at the end of the year. For some reason ex recently pushed to get it done in the next 30 days. I definitely don’t see it happening.

Since ex was sanctioned, and is now covering some of my legal fees, I am finding it slightly easier to breathe. I can afford my bills right now and that’s also progress. Now if only I could start saving up and get some vacay in there!

I’ll be honest, to this day I still get a little perturbed, jealous, angry that ex has gone through this unscathed. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s a side I don’t see at all, but he seems to be doing well. I feel like he just chewed me up and spit me out and went on his merry way. That’s a little hard for me to wrap my brain around. Never once have I felt even a slight degree of uncertainty or remorse. It’s odd. I would understand if I was this heinous person who abused him, but I wasn’t and it has been hard to process it all.

Also, people would say that the fact he’s been sanctioned by the judge three times demonstrates that he didn’t get away unscathed, but it doesn’t seem proportionate to what he has done. Especially what he has done to me financially- during the marriage and even after. He wrote checks in my name totalling roughly 30k to his sister... and she cashed them knowing they weren’t written by me (obviously that was pre-meditated). He made me go in debt over a car I didn’t want, he tried to say my paycheck didn’t go to the mortgage therefore I have no rights to the house. And I’ve had to fight ALL of this. It’s been so exhausting. And here he is sitting pretty. Since we’ve separated, he’s purchased 2 investment properties, multiple vehicles, etc. there’s even (another) new Range Rover in the driveway.

Ha! What financial restraining order? The rules don’t apply to him. And so far (with the exception of those sanctions )the court doesn’t really seem to care.

All that makes me seem bitter and I guess I am because this financial piece is the last piece I need to move on... I mean really move on. Well, other than 100% firming up dog custody.

Ahh.... this process really does take a long time, but as everyone says, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And for anyone new here, PROTECT YOUR FINANCES!!!! Don’t second guess it.