A Wake up call

[Bhuda1]

My wife really opened my eyes to how oblivious I was to my actions which caused many issues in our marriage. Wow. It hit me like a kick to the groin. I explained how my actions really showed disrespect to her and the marriage. I will not go into details but most of it is financially related.

Although I still believe she is involved with another man, even though she denies the relationship is more than friendship, I know she will tell me the truth only if she wants to.

Putting that aside I can only control my actions and what happens from here. I am happy I initiated the discussion once again and even though I am not satisfied with the response about the affair I am happy I learned more details from her that contributed to our sitch.

Its been almost for years since the bomb drop and I have not been as focused on D.B.'ing as I need to be going forward.

I have been busy doing my own thing, GAL I have spent little time at home when she is there. When she arrives, many times I just leave the house. On occasion, I will just go to my office to think or just waste time. Other times I truly am busy with my life. Meeting friends, playing hockey once a week.

My main problem is asking too many questions when we are both home. That will stop. When we are together I will let her initiate conversation. If she, doesn't I will not let it affect me as I know there will be a circumstance that she will have to discuss something. I will only initiate conversation when the topic is the about the children.

I must read the book again and again to help me keep focused. I will also keep a daily journal and at the beginning of each week I will set goals in three areas, Home Life(family), Business and Self. I started this journal Monday July 22/19.

With my new focus I will also rely on opinions, advice and the experience of this website. Financially I am unable to sign up for DB coaching but that is on my list of things that I must do to help me keep focused on the correct past to Saving my marriage.

Living under the same roof may make it difficult to detach fully.

I look forward to all the advice out there.

Thank You