Take one step at a time, one hour at a time. You can't plan out too far in advance because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Try to remember that the past is gone, tomorrow is the future and no one knows what it will reveal and yes, today is a present, a gift to do whatever we need to do to survive while we walk the path. It's true, time is our friend, gift and it's golden. Use it wisely
Yes, his divorced friends will egg him on because they relish the fact that another marriage may bite the dust and trust me, they do know what is going on w/him and probably are laughing behind his back at the mistakes he's making. His new friends won't know his history and they will encourage him to do things that he would never have thought of doing had he not been in crisis. This is a very emotional and spiritual trip for him and until he faces his childhood issues and comes to realize that he had no control over whatever happened, he will control stumble along the crisis path.
No matter what you say to him, he will not listen. In fact, he will be more determined to do whatever it is that you've pointed out that is out of character for him. The best thing to do is drop the rope of trying to have a rational conversation w/him because you can't do so when they are so emotionally charged. The greatest gift you can give him right now is the time and space he needs to heal. I know it's difficult to do, but you have to let him go for a while.
If you opt to keep a journal, be sure you put it in a safe place when he's around. Also, make sure you password your electronics so that he can't see what you are up to or come here. Also, be sure to have yourself checked out to ensure that he's not given you anything.
Keep the focus on you. Sit quietly when necessary and the answers will come. Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
