Not struggling quite as much

[SteveLW]

JimR, wow!! Just wow. I have to admit, and as the manly outdoorsman I am, i don't admit this lightly, but I have tears welling up in my eyes reading this.

Overall, I think you handled it well. And unless I am not remembering properly, there were some spiritual issues involved, weren't there? Is she straightening those out? (Sorry if I am not remembering this right.) If that is correct I do not see any future possible without her shoring that up.

I am still processing. BUT, we need lots and lots of current posters to read this. We try to tell new posters all the time that D isn't the end of the world. That it is merely a step in the process. Sometimes the WAS has to go all the way through (or in your case almost all of the way) before they finally wake up.

I realize that you know this....but she has a lot of work to do, and the road back needs to be even more difficult than the road away. I truly believe that the best way to set yourself up for a future BD is to let the WAS comeback too easily. They need to prove to you and to themselves that they are in it for the long haul. So whatever you decide, make her do her work!

I feel bad for the GF. This is why I do not advocate dating again until after the D is final (slight 2x4 here). Well that and for me morally dating while still married, even if only legally, goes against my Christian sensibilities.

Keep us informed and up-to-date!