Steve, I'm in the process and I'm not silly. I know I need to protect myself. I have no worries that I'll end up with something fair.
So on another note, things just keep getting weirder. Day three of hard DBing and she is really reacting. Trying to pick fights but I'm not having a bar. Tried to get me to do an errand. I said "no". Said she is "depressed". I said I'm sorry she feels that way, she says "don't ever say sorry again". But then . . .
I get a very polite, soft SMS to pick her and the kids on the way home from work. I delay but respond yes (I feel like an ahole if I don't, it's really on the way home". And then I see this email:
"I’ve been thinking we should talk about our marriage together. I’ve been frustrated and I’m sure you are too that every or many conversation we have is either rushed interrupted or late at night which doesn’t do our marriage any justice. Are you willing to have a scheduled conversation over dinner. I have nothing I really feel like discussing just a sense of no communication for a long time, do you agree?"
She's angry and picking fights, we aren't rushed! I'm GALing and she's going to bed early so, of course, no time! And I didn't realise we still have a marriage anymore since she said clearly to me "I'm single". If she has nothing to discuss then why dinner?
Now I'm surprised about this. I will not respond right away and I will feign ignorance if she asks "Did you read my email?" when I pick her up. My thoughts on responses are:
What? We have a marriage still? I thought you said we are separated and you are single?
If you have nothing to talk about then what is the point of dinner?
How about an agenda on discussion points so I know what we will talk about? (Her pro-D IC told her this one)
I'll think about it
No
Yes
Yes, a good idea. Communication is always good.
OK
A good sign I guess, but I feel it needs to be "played" or addressed carefully. I know what I want (marriage) and I know what conditions are required (respect from W, W must attend IC, MC for us). But I feel it also risks going pear-shaped as well.
