Moving Forward

[Jac12]

Old Thread

Hi All, I'm not happy to be here but I'm happy that everyone here exists because it does help.

Quick Recap:
Dec 9/18 wife drops ILYBINILWY bomb. Says she wants to run from responsibilities and has been emotionally numb for 3 years (when her dad was first diagnosed with cancer)
Dec/Jan - behaviour was crazy. Going out and staying out late with work friends (group of 4 guys) on Friday nights. Super attached to phone. Didn't buy any gifts for me or our son for Christmas.
Feb 1/19 she moves out renting a condo
Late March - Her Dad passes away after battling lung and brain cancer
April/May, half of June - spends most nights back in our house. She'd go back to her condo 1x or 2x each week for some "space".

We never had any problems except our sex life had become a little stale. Married for 4 years with a 2.5 year old boy.

One other note: She did get a new job when she was done maternity leave - she basically 4x'd her other income from before.

Current Situation:

Early July she said she needed more separation as being around the house more wasn't changing anything. I initiated the conversation. I told her if she wants to do that then no more staying over here and no more family outings.

This past Sunday I initiated more conversation as I've just been tired of all of this crap and I felt like she was just stringing me along. I told her that I loved her and have always supported her. I was willing to do counselling or whatever else it would take to work on our marriage.

She said: "I'm just not feeling anything. I thought I would miss you more if I moved out but I've realized I'm happier on my own. I don't feel like putting the effort in and I don't think it will change".

Me: "So are you telling me you would sign divorce papers right now if they were in front of you?"
Her: (cries) "I don't know , blah blah blah"

I then brought up a separation agreement. Currently I'm still paying for everything for our son and all the house expenses. I also have my son with me at our house every night. I take him to school and pick him up every day except Wednesday nights. I had to rearrange my whole business in order to look after our son (thrilled to do that) but that has cost me about 50% of my normal income.

So I brought up the finances and mentioned shed probably be paying about $2,000/month in child support and she got pissed and said: "that's not going to make me love you any more" (manipulative).

We also discussed arrangements for my son. I said he would stay with me and she can continue to pick him up on Wednesdays and she could see him Saturday from 8am until dinner time. She was fine with that.

We kind of left the conversation at we'd talk to out lawyers and figure out the financial side. I'm seeing my lawyer this Thursday.

Any thoughts/advice?

I'm still open to working on our marriage but I also need to move forward with my life as I dont' want to feel like a Plan B. She's given me no indication that she wants to be with me.

Thanks all.