Midlife wife crisis8

[Wolfman]

Good morning. I want to address some of the concerns and questions.
I got off one of my AD from the advice of the therapist. I was on the lowest dose possible. It’s been a week and so far so good. Some withdrawal but since I am aware of it not letting it get me down.

I do go to an IC. I deal with all my problems there. My d also goes to a therapist as well. Both my therapist and my d both say to speak with her and not to yell. The problem is speaking does nothing. Unfortunately my d only responds to yelling. My w yells all the time. I am working very hard not to yell, it’s difficult when it takes 30 minutes to get my d to respond to certain things. I’m not kidding I have timed it. The only punishment my d responds to is taking the phone away.

Sandi, it is so hard to deal with. I am a good man, father and husband and for her to say all head bad things is hard. I try to tell myself I am not that person she try to paint me as. It’s funny I follow the advice on here, GAL, 180, dress well, confident and happy. It doesn’t seem to make a difference. She still will find things that I did wrong or have done wrong.

I was talking to a colleague yesterday. She told me she went through a mid life crisis, she said she was unhappy with everything, blaming everyone for her unhappiness, she said there was nothing anyone could say or do that would change those feelings. She said it took 2 years for her to go through it. She said at the time she didn’t realize it it was a MLC. She said she just had to go though it on her own. She also said it made her question everything about her life. That is where my w is at. The only problem is MLC can take 2-5 years to go through, my w is only at year one.

I struggle with the loss of family. I love my family so much and would never put the people I love through such heartache. She doesn’t realize the long term affects this will have on our children either. My emotional pain is a little less ands it been a year.evidently I have a lot of healing to do. When I’m in the house sometimes I look at the pictures of all the family vacations we went on and wonder, where did that “woman” go? How does she not see all the fun we have had as a family? And to me this is so weird. In the past she complained that it was hard for her to keep up with the house stuff (I did most of the house cleaning), we didn’t go on enough vacations (5 a year) didn’t have enough money to buy whatever, etc., etc, how is d going to make that any easier? It’s going to make it all harder. She is already complaining to me about how difficult it is to take care of the pool. She made a comment the other day about how is she going to do this financially? I guess she would rather struggle with that than be with me and be a family.