Oh honey - I know about the crying, but don't let it get you down. I'm glad you have financial security. (And if you do reconcile and then inherit that property, please look into ways you can keep that as separate property. I know here in the US if you always keep it separate and don't use funds from the joint checking to maintain it then your spouse has no right to your inheritance).
I was married for 24 years. Now, 10 years later, is the age when we both could have retired and had quite a nice life on our social security and H's pension. Could be traveling right now! Instead he ran off in a MLC, ended up marrying a young woman 19 years younger (thank god not an affair partner, she came along a year later). She gets to go on all the world-traveling vacations while I'm working to help our adult children on their feet (the divorce really threw a monkey wrench into their lives). Nonetheless, I've realized that my life is probably better without him, and every man I've dated since my divorce has appreciated me more than my ex did. I've had many adventures since he left, learned to play the drums in a punk band, learned to play vibraphone and glockenspiel with my friend who is a professional singer-songwriter and have toured with her, have financial security if not the lifestyle I thought, but enough.
When he comes over and you're going out for the evening, be dressed to kill and wearing nice perfume. Even if you're just going to the library. Let him think you're wearing that new Victoria's Secret underwear and worry about where you might be going.
