Now what?

[BarbH]

Hi Peace today, yes I'm pretty sure it's MLC-he has a phobic fear of death thanks ( I think,) to both parents dying while he was in his twenties. I even wonder if my cancer bout didn't start this off-I know he was devastated when I was diagnosed.

Let's see: ticking off boxes

Denial: started at 55 refusing to ask for seniors discount, "that's telling them you're old"
Anger: around 58 (his dad died at 58 yrs).....started flatly stating he's retire at 60 without discussion.
Emotional affair-this spring (59, turning 60 in Aug) ongoing.
Gym/working out-about 5 months ago
talk about "getting a trainer/buying a sports car/buying a mountain bike" changes monthly.
talks about "just wanting to party like in my 20's"
Gym is "target rich environment'
partying, drinking oh yes.

Honestly I think this has been going on for 3-4 years already. I was deep in issues with my parents and post recovery-didn't catch early signs. And frankly, I always thought (having been together for 30+ years) that we always had enough connection. Maybe, but we didn't nurture it as we should have. I'd like to try that, but he's replaying.