Hi DV *waves*

You and my coworker are telling me the same thing. I'm strong, and keep going. I'm trying!!

I know my future is bright. I know I have happiness in both the now and the future. I just really am not doing great with the stress of feeling powerless. I don't do well with that feeling - I've realized that's when I tend to spin out of control. Funny, that's the overwhelming feeling I had when W was actively leaving. Powerless. I just pieced that together in my mind.

So I'm feeling very emotional now just as I was feeling very emotional last fall.

I'm so high-anxiety over the house sale timing. I know W is working on it, I just worry she's not pushing *enough* for me. They are inquiring if we (I) can "rent back" the house from the sale/closing for an additional few weeks. This is what I want. I can be mostly moved out of the house - get storage, etc. But finding 1 month or 6 weeks of housing with a pet is TOUGH.

Plus, it's my brother's wedding at the end of September. I'm making their cake. I've done 2 trials already and plan a third this weekend. I need a trustworthy and tested oven for something important like this.

And I put my gardens in, and want to have the rewards.

You never know what the future brings. who knows - maybe after the inspection the buyer will find some tiny detail they hate and will back out and we'll have to start over. You just never know the future.

I'm trying really hard to bring back my emotional crush on the cutie at work. It has waned recently. It is such a great distraction, and brings me that silly giddy feeling that can take over the brain space being occupied by this other *bleep*. But the highly emotional state I'm in these days has brought back a lot of memories and feelings for W, and that's hard to feel. I thought I was "over" her. No. I'm just learning how to move on from her, so the cycles are still there. Don't want to be with her, but miss her.

I think it's time to bring back my "cook down the pantry" game. I don't want to move all this stuff, so might as well eat it all now and save on some groceries.