I am so sorry that you are here, but you are in the right place to get support. One of the first things that I would do is protect your finances and assets, i.e., bank accounts, credit cards and if you can, do a credit report on the two of you. If he's out there doing the usual things that wayward and mlc spouses do, you will want to keep a close eye on your money, as well as get yourself checked out by a doctor.
Now is the time to move forward and let him go to figure things out. Time is truly on your side and it's a time to make a list and do the things that you've put off doing BTW, as for the stages, they are just a timeline and helpful hints as to what to look for. Try to keep in mind that each person is different because of their issues, personalities and how they deal w/their issues.
Try to keep the focus on you and your family as much as possible.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
