I learned to stop using it. I been talking to my psychologist almost on a weekly, now bi weekly basis about treatment. And before this BD happened, I told her one of my symptoms I am trying to fix is how to show my feelings to my spouse more often. It helps to have someone who will just sit there and listen. I haven't told anyone about this sitch until yesterday because I had to get it off my chest, which was my younger brother and a close friend who is overseas. Venting was good in a way so I don't keep it bottled inside which is also why I am here - to seek advice, learn and grow.
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I can't even touch her without her shrugging my hand off. She won't even look at me.
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OK, so this clearly isn't working so don't do this anymore. It's making her feel the pressure.
I am working on this. It is a natural reaction for me to want to hold her or at least give her a hug when she is in the vicinity.
[quote[I try not to let it bother me but it does.[/quote]
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Focus on this attitude, for everything she does. Michele explains her stop sign technique to stop negative thoughts from flowing freely. I use it a lot. But really, you can't let what others do affect you.
The first week, I cried and hung on with dear life. It is getting a little easier to have a better attitude. I have days where I am a happy dude than next day, a freight train hits me out of no where. Its a see saw. I am going to reread DR, I maybe read it too quickly.
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I don't know what to do. I tried to GAL but my mind just keeps coming back to her. I exercise about 5 times a week but my mind keeps racing back to her. I'm trying to reach a point where when she leaves next month, that I'll be okay knowing that I tried to work this out. But also need to work on myself and mainly my relationship with my daughter.
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[/quote]You answered your own question there, good going! You know what to do. If you remember the last resort technique from the book, just do that. Stop pursuing, GAL, wait and see. Don't be home when she is home. Take a change of clothes and go out to eat, walk through town, get a drink or two, see a play, take a cooking/dancing/whatever class, stay out until it's almost bedtime. These type of activities helped me and my sitch drastically. Walking downstairs to "her area" and asking her who she's talking to is working against you. Do you see the difference between the two?
I know what to do but I'm so scared at the moment that its taking control of me. I stop pursuing for a couple days than the urge comes back stronger than ever. I try to fight it and I lose at times but win sometimes. Its a constant mental battle. I am definitely going to try and GAL more often, just need to figure out what my interest are - its been too long that I basically forgot what I enjoy doing solo. I walked downstairs last night because my mom called and ask her why my W cell phone doesn't work anymore. I know my mom picked up something was wrong but I still haven't told her yet. That was when she was talking to someone and immediately turned over the phone and said the other party hung up - when it was supposedly my aunt. I didn't ask if I can see or anything - I just find it strange that my Aunt would hang up when she heard my voice.
