kml...i've been here better than a year now, fully got through my divorce and the main reason I came here, but in less than a month you've kicked my butt more times and harder than anyone else ever has...and as much as I feel you kicking me, I know you are right.
I'm thankful that I've had the ability to continue to grow and learn from this experience. I'm happy that I could draw for myself the logical conclusion I came to in the quote that you highlight. To be clear it was she that was ready to introduce me to her kids on the timeline that she chose. I never pushed it and was always respectful about when she felt it was right. I can see that going forward for the children's benefit, I will push to take it very slow.
Yes, she totally has shown me her flakey side. Simply put I didn't feel we went that fast especially in comparison to other relationships that I've had. Perhaps because they have all failed, I see now that I need to slow them down even more than I realized. I don't think we weren't still evaluating each other. Heck, she's totally dumped me so clearly she's evaluated something and decided to chuck me. With us not seeing each other but 3-4 times a month I just really thought we had a good pace to us. For sure our minds/hearts got way ahead of our actual experiences together.
And yeah, my IC has said as much. She said "she's overwhelmed and for whatever reason is unwilling to do the work that she needs to do. she couldn't be with anyone right now, not your's to fix and this is totally on her." Like I say I know I have to walk away. No way I was going to go from where we were to letting her friend zone me. She made her choice, she can live with having lost me. From all she said, it's easy to believe that maybe that will bother her, but maybe she simply didn't mean any of it. Life goes on I guess.
I hope to go quiet now so you don't have to kick my butt again in the future.
