As you can tell I am new here but I have been reading this forum for the last month. A little background, my W and I have been married since Jan. 2008, dated for 2 years beforehand. I am about to be 33 next month and she is 31. we have one D who is 11. We had the best life anyone could ask for, we were happy, physically and emotionally so I thought. Approximately beginning of June 2019 was when I found out the ILYBNILWY. I cried my eyes out, plead, begged and everything else. She basically told me that she has no emotionally feelings for me at all because I emotionally neglected her, that she been bottling it up for the past 3-4 years. I asked why didn't you bring this up before and she gets loud, "I did and you called me a bunch of names and so forth." I do admit that I emotionally neglected her at times - I have been in the military for roughly 8 years and diagnosed with PTSD but I know that doesn't give me a reason to not show her the love and feelings. I just didn't know how all the time with all the [censored] I been through. When she looks at me it feels like I am staring into an empty soul, so cold and dark. Before all this, I saw nothing but happiness in her eyes now its like a completely different person. I did all the "don'ts" when I found out the ILYBNILWY than found this site and bought the book DR. I read almost the whole book the first day but still have hard time knowing what to implement. I can't even touch her without her shrugging my hand off. She won't even look at me. What makes it harder is that I am dying inside and it seems like everything with her is flowers and roses. She started sleeping in the basement the next day after she told me the ILYBNILWY and I stay in the MBR, everything is so awkward now - we barely talk, if we do it feels weird. She already printed out and started filling out divorce papers, rented an apartment and will be moving out the second week of August. I just don't get how 10+ years of marriage goes down the drain like that, like it meant nothing to her. She even go a new phone line, I have a gut feeling there maybe an EA - but I don't want to believe it. She takes her phone EVERYWHERE. Before if she went to the bathroom, or anywhere else around the house she would just leave it be, now its glued to her hands. I try not to let it bother me but it does. Last night, I went to the basement and she was on the couch like she is video chatting or something with earbuds on and I asked who you talking to - she said your aunt but supposedly my aunt hung up right when she heard my voice and she flipped her phone over face down on the couch. I don't know what to do. I tried to GAL but my mind just keeps coming back to her. I exercise about 5 times a week but my mind keeps racing back to her. I'm trying to reach a point where when she leaves next month, that I'll be okay knowing that I tried to work this out. But also need to work on myself and mainly my relationship with my daughter.
