One thing I learned a long time ago..logic has ABSOLUTELY no place when dealing with what you are going through. You shouldn't ask and for sure not expect her to tell you if she was in contact with an OM. Do you think she would really tell you the whole truth if you asked her? If you are done worrying, then that is great. Express it solely in the actions you take for yourself as a man who has accepted her decisions. Especially if it's a game, you keep being the man in going where you need to go in life. If at ever game she takes you here and there, that's weak looking for you. Defining boundaries you should definitely do, but act on them not tell her about them.
That is great that you want the M to work. Keep that hope. Realize that it is on your wife to come to the same feeling as you. If/when she comes to you and says exactly that then by all means communicate with her, but unless/until she does you should be looking after what is best for yourself and your sons and be living your life as if she's not going to change. You NEVER know when or if she might change her mind so keep that hope. Just realize that it is out of your control if it happens.
Let your wife see a strong, confident man and father moving his life forward. Totally up to her if she wants to let such a good man go then.
