H is having a moment of some clarity, that is all. You have a boundary about caking eating, keep it. No kissing.
You are correct, there can be no relationship while OW is in the picture. Until she has been gone for at least six consecutive months - no dating. That R and affair has to die. So, at least a full six month of no contact with OW, then he might, just might, be worthy of a gal such as you. Do not sell yourself short!
His confusion is evident as is the fact this is about him. You didn’t break him, you cannot fix him. Treat him kindly and with compassion. That is just as much for you as him, maybe even more. Unfortunately, H will most likely cycle again. He has lots to work through.
This is part of the process. Bouncing back and forth. I know how it feels to speak with a spouse and not the empty shell; keep expectations at zero. This doesn’t change your path. This is a marathon, keep the main focus on you.
I am a pretty hopeful guy, who looks at the possibilities. The future is unknown, and lots is possible here. Stay the course, it is the best thing for you, and your best chance at a possible future reconciliation. As counter-intuitive as that sounds.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
