Thanks peace. I went for a walk, cleared my head and re-read DR over and over again. I decided against snooping. It isn't me to invade privacy and I don't intend to start now. Thanks for your advice.
I am hoping to get my telephone coaching session in before we go away so that I have a plan. I think this is what I am lacking. I have backed way off, no text, phone calls, stop going on about the R, stopped following him round interrogating him. He now follows me round to tell me he is leaving and what to do with the furniture, kids etc seemingly to push my buttons. He has threatened to leave now for 6 weeks.
My kids are 11, 10 (this Thursday) and 8. I am 35, H38. I have family around and am close to H mum, haven't told anyone much as I am hoping to reconcile - especially H mum as she is on his side.
He doesn't speak to his mum really, nor his 2 sisters so doesn't have anyone really other than me. He was pretty unloved as a child whereas his sisters were the golden girls and I know this is all true because I have seen first hand over the years how differently he is treated in the family, and our children compared to the other grandchildren. H mum doesn't seem to like men including her own son. I am the last problem to get rid of it seems.
Thanks for sharing your story kml. I don't think they realise the reality of leaving until they actually go. he has everything perfect in theory in his head. The children do suffer so much don't they more than they show/say. He seems to think he can walk off into the sunset, have no contact with me and pass messages through the children. He is going to a work party tonight and staying over. I wished him a good time as I won't be here when he goes. I am going out with the kids.
I have a couple of ideas who it could be, they all have kids of their own but not sure if married. All co-workers. He has told me the name of the friend he will be staying with, but again I have never met him so it could all be nonsense.
He went away with work for 3 days a couple of weeks back, on a school trip. The people I think it could be didn't go. He text me twice a day while there asking how the kids were and I replied simply each time. To me it was an excuse to text as I would have told him if there was something wrong. When he returned he told me proudly that he didn't miss me at all during those 3 days and so he is absolutely doing the right thing. (He goes away for 2 weeks a year on training weeks abroad normally and so 3 days away being busy with activities is hardly telling, but I agreed with him).
The friend he says he is moving in with actually happens to be someone he was in the military with, who as pure coincidence works at the same place. They had lost touch since leaving the forces. The friend is single, Batchelor lifestyle.
Last night he lay right up to me, closer to me than he has in a while and while he thought I was sleeping touched my face. I didn't respond.
I fully plan on creating a great life for me and the children. :-)
