Josh_T - Sorry the above post was an accidental post before I finished
OK so... the forum is going to tend to give you hard-line advice. Most of your plan sounds find except it all sounds very strict "Don't do this, No that". Just make sure you do this with a PMA. Let me try to rewrite them:
Be friendly when she initiates conversation, mostly validate, no R talk, limit phone/text to logistics Let her live her life without interference Live my own life, own my own happiness Set boundaries with appropriate consequences
For some soft-line advice - I may post more later. I hesitate because it would put focus back on your W, and most of us LBS's need to be over-corrected hard in the opposite direction. All I will say now is I don't believe her "doing everything" complaint... because you addressed it, and it changed nothing. I've been through this. What happened later is I found out there were deeper issues at play, and I think it is valid for me to at least consider addressing the issues in a way that respects my own values (i.e., I don't just try to solve my W's problems). Otherwise I will bring the same baggage into my future.
