Everything. About what to do. I still don’t know how to act around her. I still am in searing pain. About what IHALCS just told me to do. About how to let go. How to detach. How to gal when you can’t get your mind off her. About how 1 human could do this to another. About whose advice to follow. How to compartmentalize so I don’t lose my job. How to handle this. How to make the pain lessen even a little
I’m not kidding when I think about her with OM it feels like my chest is squeezing. Like I can’t breathe. Like I’m having a heart attack
How could you set there and look At someone and lead them along knowing your going to crush them
Take the day off if you need to. 1. Therapy. 2. GAL e.g. pottery or gun range. 3. You don’t have to say anything if you aren’t sure what the right thing to say is. Take care.
Deep breaths. Stay present in the moment. Watch a meditation video if you need help doing that.
The advice for therapy and GAL are pretty consistent.
Ok thank you. I will read that thread when I get home R2C
So the consensus is I should not go to wedding. Go out and GAL instead
If she’s having affair then so be it? Recon or no recon?
I’m trying to pound into my brain that my relationship with her is unhealthy
How do I detach without just not caring. I’ve read the thread again and again. I just can’t get it.
Steve. I don’t cherry pick. It’s just you guys make this seem so easy and I feel stuck I’m really trying but my hugest efforts feel like nothing.
How do I let myself be ok with her laying down on her back and letting another man get on top of her
How. How do I let go. HOW do I do that and still love her HOW do I do that and feel nothing but hate
HOW!!!
It's real simple. Not at all easy but simple. You both took vows to love and cherish and honor one another and support one another in sickness and in health till death do you part. We are all human we all make mistakes and we all deserve some sort of forgiveness. If one person cannot tolerate another, and they need to leave or they need to justify their actions or they need to cheat for whatever emotional high they are chasing. Then let them go. What are you going to do? Fight them over it? Your self-respect and your self-worth and well-being is more important then the value of yourself that you have placed in this other person. Right wrong or indifferent. You learn from your mistakes and you move on. Leave them to their mess and focus on you you deserve it
I'm sorry you're going through this I know it's nauseating and anxiety makes you want to scream. Talk to your manager on the side and ask him if you can have the rest of the day off go and take a nap if you have to and don't say anything to W. It's a lot of pressure I know to keep returning to that house knowing what you know. All the thoughts swirling in your head. Get a cold drink of water if you're having chest pains, and control your breathing from your diaphragm slowly. You don't want to hyperventilate or have a panic attack. Find some privacy weather be at home or in nature. Have some cold water nearby. Throw some earbuds in your phone and put on some music that you love. You're a musician right go to your happy place with your music. Close your eyes and breathe and think of nothing else what was in your happy place. You have to shut your mind down otherwise it's going to make you anxious and sick. But you will get through it. I wish there was some way we could all get together at an event and talk to one another and Coach one another. I wish I could be there for you in person I know what you're going through
I’m sitting here under a case ih. Combine. Trying to put the transmission I rebuilt for it back in. I’m sitting under here silently sobbing with wrenches in my lap hoping nobody sees me. I just wish I had somebody to talk to
