I'm sorry you're going through this I know it's nauseating and anxiety makes you want to scream. Talk to your manager on the side and ask him if you can have the rest of the day off go and take a nap if you have to and don't say anything to W. It's a lot of pressure I know to keep returning to that house knowing what you know. All the thoughts swirling in your head. Get a cold drink of water if you're having chest pains, and control your breathing from your diaphragm slowly. You don't want to hyperventilate or have a panic attack. Find some privacy weather be at home or in nature. Have some cold water nearby. Throw some earbuds in your phone and put on some music that you love. You're a musician right go to your happy place with your music. Close your eyes and breathe and think of nothing else what was in your happy place. You have to shut your mind down otherwise it's going to make you anxious and sick. But you will get through it. I wish there was some way we could all get together at an event and talk to one another and Coach one another. I wish I could be there for you in person I know what you're going through
