I don't think people are saying "don't care" because clearly you are not at that point. They are saying "fake it til you make it" then it will start to get easier. The point is not to dislike, not care about, or kill any feelings you have for your wife. The point is to back off and detach so you can get some perspective on what you want in your life moving forward and demonstrate that you are not always going to be waiting in the wings as a "Plan B"
