I feel that I’m at a crossroads, some days I just want to file for D because I don’t trust her and don’t know if I ever will be able to again. Other days I think maybe I need to continue giving her Time and Space. My son specifically asked me not to quit. So, I’m torn between doing what’s right and in line with my morals versus my kids hopes and my dreams of what a happy future our family could have if she ended her affairs and wanted to R.
curtis, first, why wouldn't you file for D?
Your S8 asked you not to quit. Hmmm. What if he asked you to drink poison? Would you do it? Or would you explain to him how detrimental that would be? Now I am not saying to tell your S8 how bad his mom is. But sitting him down to explain that your life has to move on and he will understand one day would be the better approach.
Because you have hopes and dreams of what a happy future with your family could be IF she ended her affairs and wanted to R? And she couldn't do that after you file for D? During the D? After the D? That isn't an excuse.
Further, you don't want to R with HER, at least as she is now, you have a romantic delusion of HER as she used to be. sandi says "the girl you married is gone!" You have to assume she is never coming back. Even if this multiple cheating version wanted to R, could you trust that it was because she was her old self again? Or because she likes having her horses (cake) there??
You are at a crossroads only because you are stalling. You know what to do. You need to move on. I do not advocate most LBSs filing for D because that is doing the WAS's dirty work. But you are not in the same sitch as most. I'd think about it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
