Maybe I know what to do 2

[SteveLW]

In my book. There is nothing you can do to be closer to somebody than to ML with them. If she shares that part of herself. I don’t think I could ever feel that connection with her again

Not going to tell you that you are wrong. But you can have sex without making love.

When I say I don’t get DBing. I mean it. I have been doing a lot of 4 already. Is that bad? I let her calls go to voicemail then I call back later. I don’t text and when she does I keep replies short

DBing is quite simple. GAL. Detach. Work on bettering yourself (180s). You don't get it because I don't think you want to. You are too impulsive, reactive, and if something feels counter-intuitive to you then you make excuses, hem-haw around, flat out ignore. Go back up and read that very long post I sent you. It was a post about being ready to take action IF she is in a PA. You gleaned the one thing out of it (#4 fully detaching) and then tried to say you were already doing that. Did you understand that my point was if she is in a PA then your DBing efforts just become even more arduous?

Notice, I said "4) Detach. Fully. Do not start conversations. If she catches you and starts a conversation, listen and validate. When you are out ignore her calls. If she texts you do not respond unless it is a direct question. Even then you only answer after some time has passed....and with as few words as possible. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers."

Then you said: "I have been doing a lot of 4 already. Is that bad? I let her calls go to voicemail then I call back later. I don’t text and when she does I keep replies short"

A lot? Dude, you haven't even been close to what I said. What I described is one step above going completely dark on her. You came back and said "I've been doing a lot of 4 already. I let her calls go to vm and then I call back later. I don't text and when she does I keep replies short"

My message was "If you find out she is in a PA YOU DON'T CALL HER BACK!!! YOU DON'T TEXT HER BACK, unless it is a direct question....and then only with yes or no if appropriate, and extremely brief otherwise!"

Here is from your last thread:

H. Hey I missed a call from you
W. Ya I went to sisters house to pick up S. We got invited to swim. You wanna go?
H. Hmm sounds nice it’s really hot out, you wanna go?
W. Hmm maybe. It is really hot
H. Well if not I think I’m gonna hit the shower and check out the pottery shop around the corner
W. (Voice changes forum upbeat, happy and content to a little irritated and like WTF). Uuuhhhh ok? I guess what are you gonna do)
H. Well swimming does sound nice too
W. Ok I’ll talk to (family) and see if they still want to
H. Ok well if I don’t answer I’m in shower

How is that even close to what i said in #4?!?

So many non-DBing mistakes in that quote.

YOU started the exchange.
YOU asked her if she wanted to swim.
YOU said "if you don't want to swim then I am gonna GAL. (WHAT?!?!)
YOU said what your GAL was going to be. (NO! You just go. "Sorry, I have a couple things I want to do. Have fun swimming."
YOU reacted to voice changing to irritated by 1) Giving up GAL 2) Going over to swim with her 3) Not being detached even in the slightest!

ozman, we've had other posters here that claimed later "I tried GAL, it didn't work." In every single case they talked about DBing but never actually did it.