New: Advice needed

[Rita]

If your H is in MLC, I do not agree with KML. I think KML is correct if your H was always like this and you are just now realizing it. But if he had a massive change from who you know before and you know he is in MLC, there is no point in doing anything but setting boundaries and keeping your goal in mind. Your goal in MLC is to let him go and try to live your life as best as you can on your own, expecting nothing from him. He will do many horrible things and there is absolutely nothing you can do or say that will influence him in any way. Snooping will change nothing and will add to his misperception of you -- and most importantly, will make you despair. Believe us, we've all been there. The best is to keep letting it go, giving it to God or the universe, and trying to rebuild your life on your own. If he comes to his senses and wants to return, you can decide then if you can do it. Read through Nyla's thread, we've all given some good counsel on that line there.

As far as the lack of protection you have because you are not married, I think a good lawyer can make a case for you -- or at least for your children.

Don't despair!