Maybe I know what to do 2

[SteveLW]

AMOFWL? What’s that mean?

I would want to know if she is so I could confront her.

If and when I find out. How do you react. What do you say. What are the first words out of your mouth? How do you control your emotions?

And

We have no body to babysit except her family How do I tell them I need a sitter without saying wife went to wedding without me?

A Man Only A Fool Would Leave

Did you not read the acronym thread? You should.

So you want to confront her.....but have no idea what that entails? oz you really need to think through things a little better. You see, most LBHs lie to themselves. "I want to know so I can confront her." That isn't true at all, is it? What you really want is to know she ISN'T cheating. And you are using "wanting to confront her" as an excuse for snooping. Digging. Etc.

If you want to know the truth, there is no shame in that. Admit it. However, you need to understand that if you find out she is cheating (PA) then there are things you have to be willing to do. And talking is the last thing you should do! If she is in a PA:

1) You move her out of the MBR. Don't say anything, just take all of her stuff out of the MBR and put it in another room. When she asks what is going on you say: "I know what is going on. I refuse to share the MBR with a cheater." Do not tell her how your know. Do not show her how you know.

2) You double down on GAL. As in you come up with a schedule of nights and weekends you will be home with S8, and nights and weekends you will be out doing other things. Stick to it.

3) If you really can't get over the D, then you have to go talk to a lawyer and file for D. (Most LBHs later come to the realization that they can get over a PA, so make sure you REALLY can't and want a D before taking this step.)

4) Detach. Fully. Do not start conversations. If she catches you and starts a conversation, listen and validate. When you are out ignore her calls. If she texts you do not respond unless it is a direct question. Even then you only answer after some time has passed....and with as few words as possible. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers.

5) You stop any and all work around the house that isn't directly related to you or S8's activities. Do not wash her clothes, only yours and S8's. Do not clean up after her, no matter how big of a mess she makes. You clean up after yourself and S8. THAT'S IT.

oz, if you are ready for 1-5, then by all means start doing recon. If you have access to her email and phone, check it. Check phone records. Look up numbers that look suspicion or have a lot of activity. Hire a PI if you have to. Follow her. Just be aware that all of this can backfire, badly. If you get caught doing these thingsand she is innocent it could be the final straw to push her to file for D. Even worse, if she isn't innocent, it could cause her to say "okay, he knows now!" and go full bore. We've seen many LBHs here that have found out about a PA, confronted, and the WAW/WW just flat out started dating the OM.

oz, this is not an easy road. Be sure you are ready to handle all of this. It is a big step. Like I said before I get the impression that you aren't at a place yet to handle the truth if in fact she is in an EA or PA. If she is you have to be prepared to react confidently and decisively. No asking why. No begging and pleading. No crying in front of her. The moment you find out, you start commanding her respect....with actions not words. I laid it out for you in 1-5 above. You'll have to grow a spine, man-up, and be the king of your castle.

Are you ready for that?