We are now 3.5 months since the temporary orders were drawn up. There hasn't been much communication about anything besides kids during that time. Ive waffled a bit on pushing the D through or waiting on her to do it. I think ive settled on waiting for her to get it done. Not sure why, it just seems like the right thing since its not what I want.
She hasn't mentioned the word divorce in 2 months or so, I often wonder if that is because she is comfortable or because she is trying to decide what she wants as she sees me having healthy interactions with the kids and not needing her for anything.
As I look back on a few different things, a lot of discussion on the friend zone has been happening on the board. I think I un-knowingly shut down her attempt to put me in the friend zone a couple months ago. She has her BFF that is divorced and living in a waterfront home from alimony income, and the BFF is always complaining about her EXH and blah blah blah. W tried to get my thoughts on it, and I said that I am not willing to discuss BFF problems with her EXH. She then did it again, in a different way, but same topic, and I again said I wasn't willing to discuss her friend's issues as I am not privy to the details. She acted kind of hurt that I didn't want to gossip about her friend's EXH, but that is something that someone in the friend zone would do, and I shut it down. Didn't know it at the time, just kind of hit me today, so I wrote about it.
I haven't heard a word about BFF since, and the kids haven't mentioned playing with her kid in quite a while. I have proof that BFF was pushing her to divorce me. I saw the books she was providing her(the receipts from amazon from years past were used as bookmarks so I know where the books came from) about narcissism, alcoholism, emotional abuse, divorcing a narcissist, etc. W told me she hired her L based on the BFF telling her he would do anything and say anything to win. I wonder if that friendship is slowing dying due to the toxic dynamic that must exist between two people when one is actively encouraging the other to destroy the family and F the husband over. Hard to say. I don't expend a lot of effort thinking about it, just something that made me go hmmmm the other day.
Kids told me they are sick of the weekend thing and just want one week here and one week there. I haven't told her this yet, she won't be in favor of it and will likely accuse me of manipulating the kids to say that. She won't make it in the house without child support. If we were even split there wouldn't be any child support and she would be forced to move and we would have to sell the home...or better yet I would take the home because I can afford it and she would be forced to move. I still like the house, and there is no way I could afford a similar one with the way real estate has escalated recently in the area. Bought for $400k 5 years ago and could sell for $600k now.
Well onward with life. Got the kids for dinner tonight, blackened chicken ceasar salad...oh yeah!
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
