Still figuring it all out

[Dawn70]

I have been reading along and not really knowing what to say. It seems clear that you and M speak very different love languages and that is not necessarily a bad thing. I have that same issue with Sparky, but the difference is that when I tell Sparky what I need and I listen to him about what he needs, we actively work together to meet the other's needs. M doesn't seem to do that. Again, not at all saying he is a bad guy for that, but it gives me the feeling that he has just never put that kind of effort into a relationship or at least hasn't in a long time and so is possibly out of practice.

Then, just in the past few days, I read something that really jumped out at me. It was talking about how we get so caught up in figuring out what our love language is that we sometimes forget to speak to our partner in THEIR love language. We think we know what theirs is and we may or may not be right. The thing I read REALLY made me take pause and go wait, what? Do I do that? I know what mine is. I know how I like to be "handled". And, I know how I typically "handle" other people, but in a relationship, I do think it is important to go that extra mile and make sure that you are dealing with the person in the way that best suits them.

Having said all that, I don't know if that is the issue with M or not. And, I'm not even necessarily saying it is. I'm just giving you a little food for thought, I suppose. I can't speak for him, but I always appreciate when people show up for me, regardless of when it is. That's a big deal to me, so I try to be that person for people too.