Thanks for helping me through this. I hope to be able to give back one day.
I just realized that I have never shared a complete timeline of events. Here goes. Probably going to miss a lot of details. I am soooo tired. I start my new ft job Monday. I'm hoping that I will be able to leave pt job very soon.
As I look back it is easy to see what was happening. In 2016 there started to be a lot of friction/tension between us. We had never really fought much before. I would say the sky was blue. She would say it was red. Around this time she also started to say things like she didn't want to be known just as our kid's mom. I didn't think anything of it. This is also the year we moved into our new house.
On New Year's day of 2017 we got together to set our goals like we usually do. She wouldn't tell me what her personal goals were for the year. That kind of bothered me. With the next several months she began to lose a lot of weight. She started buying new clothes. It was during this time that she also started spending hours in the bathroom. She was falling asleep.when we tried to spend family time with the kids. Her sex drive was really high so I wasn't complaining. In March of that year I did accidentally come across a fake social media account. I questioned her about it and she ran into the bathroom to delete it. I told her that since I didn't see the content, I needed to assume the worse. I forgave her. Also in this year she created a pen name and began to write. She said the pen name was because she wanted to be anonymous. She self published 3 poetry books this year. She kept telling me all of the lived themed ones were about me.
In the begining of 2018 she was spending a lot of time talking to some guy from another country in private chats. I know this because I was spying on her. We shared all of our user names and passwords. I did abuse that privalage. When I confronted her she blocked that user from her account. In March she began doing collaboration poems with a different guy. This is the guy who she is currently having an EA with. By March she told me she couldn't have sex with me. She told me she feels I took advantage of her. I persistently asked her for sex for several months. In July she said yes. She claims that I raped her. She was sexually abused as an 11 yo. Also, in July she went to visit her mom and step father (who is terminal). I brought her to the airport. She gave me a kiss before she left. That was the last time she ever kissed me. She came back from her mom's determined to get divorced. She was expecting me to just allow her to move to her mom's with the kids 3 weeks later. She continued to hug me for a while but eventually stopped when she began sleeping on the couch. Around September she began gaining her weight back.
Since then she has slowly eliminated me from every area of her life. She got a job working overnight in a bakery because I said that she wasn't doing anything to help the family financially. Around March of this year she started acting much calmer and even seeming remorseful at times. The last couple of weeks the anger at me has returned. The ea is ongoing. I created a fake acct to spy on her but I am not doing that anymore. Right now she spends most of her time sleeping, eating, watching TV or being on her phone.
I hope this information helps to clarify my story a little. Whatever insight can be offered is greatly appreciated.
