Very normal feeling you are having...we can't go back but we must learn moving forward.
Not sure about all of the texting to you and stuff. I can tell you looking back when my WW started her A and I didn't know about it yet, she was sweet as pie to me....almost her effort to make sure I had no idea what was going on.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019