Daily rollercoaster of emotions

[Nyla79]

Now I decided to sit down and write again, I’ve been so busy and in such turmoils that I feel like I’ve neglected this forum. Not that any of us have obligations, but I miss you all when I don’t write here.


Gerda, I have to say I do admire you and your strength and wisdom. Thank you so much for your insights, they always calm me down and make me look at things differently. I will definitely look the book you recommended up and start reading. Any help I can get is needed.


HaWho, I have actually considered therapy for the kids, I think even if they would go a few times, it might help them unload some of the burden. I feel fine without it having you guys and my sister, but the kids, especially the younger ones are having a hard time dealing with this.


Grace 21 Like I said, it’s so hard not to get my hopes up.


After our meeting on Tuesday I didn’t hear from him yesterday until the evening. Since he moved out, we have mostly communicated thru messages, but yesterday he called to ask if I could drive S10 to camp today as he had something he needed to do. (We had earlier agreed he would drive him) Of course I said yes, but then after the phone call my silly little mind started to wonder why he called, when he could have sent a message.

Same today when he dropped S10 off from camp, he called me to let me know he had just dropped him off in front of the house. Usually these conversations are just that. “Hey, I just left S10 at your gate” “Ok, thanks bye” “Bye”.

Today he started to talk about other things and then telling me that S10 had said that I had looked funny in the morning when dropping him off and he wanted to know why. (I had a hair mask on so I had wrapped my head in saran wrap and then tied a scarf around that) I did look funny, but I thought it was nice that he was interested in what had happened, because he has not shown any interest in matter relating to me in these past months.


Am I being too optimistic here and reading too much into everything? I so hope I’m not…


I’m not contacting him other about the kids and always try to get off the phone or messages first. So my actions haven’t changed, but my mind is racing.