In past arguments during our relationship he would always blow up in anger, say hurtful things etc and I would be silent usually crying. At the minute I am listening and trying to validate his feelings but am still quiet. (not crying) Should I carry on with this tactic or try another?
I haven't met with an attorney as we aren't married. We have been together 14 years and engaged for 12, and were looking at finally getting married this year. I think this has been an issue also for both of us as we desperately wanted to get married but had struggles along the way. H was an athlete so we travelled all over with 3 young children, and money was tight. We had zero help from anyone but that brought us closer. Since he retired last summer alongside his fathers passing, he has been more emotional and this is where I failed to meet his needs due to working full time and juggling the kids.
He knows how I feel. I have told him I would like to save the relationship, draw a line under the old one and start a new one together. I haven't mentioned it for a few weeks as that was driving him more away.
He plans to move out 2 days after we return from the holiday. He said that he will not live locally and that there will be zero contact as we can pass messages through the children. (unrealistic and unfair on the kids).
He came home from work really down/depressed looking last night, then brought all this up again about not coming on holiday or doing a week each etc. I am starting to wonder if there is another woman if she is putting pressure on him and doesn't like the fact that we are going away together. Who knows, and I know I should let all those thoughts go.
