Divorce/WAW due to my infidelity Part 2

[crdcheck]

So had a bad night last night. We'd agreed that last night I would go out, she would stay home, and tonight she goes out and I stay home. I went out with a mutual friend (male, reliable) for a happy hour and then a college alumni event that happened to be at a restaurant a half block from my house. Got home at 9:30 PM or so, no issues. W shared some stories from the evening (nice! she chose to converse on her own).

Problem was when she said that she found an apartment and said that she could move in August 1st. She made it sound like she'd essentially signed an agreement and this was contrary to the discussion we'd had the night before (that we would make no large financial commitments without running by each other and that we wouldn't move out prior to documenting our property and financial separation approach along with custody with our mediator). I have intense anxiety about this whole thing because I'm worried that she will do something that she feels is justified and then I'm left either just taking it or going the litigation route. Anyway, I don't think that I used the wrong words with her (no cursing, no accusations, no "kitchen sink" items) but my tone was terrible, accusatory, and she got upset and stormed out. My reaction definitely fit with her narrative that I'm negative and probably came across as controlling.

So, what I should have done is to say "It sounds great that you found a place that works. This is a lot for me to digest, it's late (we have an agreement to not have serious conversations after 9 PM), and I've had a few drinks - can we talk about this tomorrow? I feel like there are some open items we need to work through before signing anything". Obviously I can't go back and do it the "right" way but I did apologize this morning, explained that my reaction was not what it should have been. W thanked me.