Yes, I remember all those posters, and we still have some great ones today. I wanted to share a few thoughts about Txhubby. He did not post his personal story for a long, long time. He would always encourage people to expose the spouse's affair, but come to find out---he had not exposed his own W's affair......it was the OMW that did it. Txhubby's WW did not have remorse or try to do anything to work on their MR, that I remember. They remained in an in-house separation. Finally, Txhubby had had enough and one day he posted that he was wanting to walk away. He sounded much like a WAH to me, and I responded to him a couple of times about it. Next thing I knew, he was posting his story, or rather the updated version, and telling all the LBS's not to put up with what he had tolerated. He was done with his W and walking out the door, and she was crying & pleading with him to give her another chance. The tables had turned! Last I heard, he still had her walking a chalk line, b/c he told her if she messed one time he was gone.
I think in many cases, the H has to reach the point that Txhubby reached. I hope you aren't one of those who will just be beaten up until there is no nothing else to beat out of you. I'd rather think you will be like Txhubby and one day it will hit you and you'll be done with it. Until then, I don't think what we say is going to make a big difference in what action you decide to take......and I don't mean that sarcastically.
I don't know how many times I've read where you say you aren't completely detached yet. I read some others say the same thing. Do you see detaching as not loving her anymore?
Anyway, I hope you will be able to let go of that rope pretty soon, before it hangs you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
